Money, fame, power... There are basically two types of paths followed by people who reach their goals: The first is traumatic, the second is transformational. Let's unpack these two a bit.

The traumatic path is the one we choose unconsciously and is the result of painful experiences. We had a difficult childhood, struggled constantly and suffered many material and moral losses. Ego, self-defense and aggression are among the stops of this road, which is entered for reasons beyond control. Other highlights are:

• Pain
• Fear
• Stress
• Revenge
• Competition

The transformational path is a deliberate choice. The person first realizes and then accepts that he needs to change, acquire some new habits and get rid of some others in order to reach his goals. He dedicates himself to taking the necessary training and continually applying these lessons. The two main topics related to this transformation are selflessness and receivership. Highlights include:

• Love
• Peace
• Gratitude
• Appreciation
• Cooperation

Is there any gain without pain?

Behind most popular success stories, you will read the first narrative and probably try to imitate it. But there are a couple of problems with that.

First, you can't control what happens to you; you can only control your reaction to it. Those people may have had to endure all kinds of pain and ultimately the pain may have made them strong and successful, but if they had a choice in the first place, none of them would want to experience what they went through.

Second, what you see and hear is just the tip of the iceberg. How many of the rich and famous people do you think are actually happy? Please note:

Individuals may attain great heights of financial, business, or other achievement by the driving force of destructive emotions. But history is filled with evidence that such people usually carry with them certain traits of character which rob them of the ability to either keep or enjoy their fortune.

Hello Pollyanna

As a result of all this analysis, we could conclude that the first path should be avoided at all costs, but this would be an over-optimistic approach. Although our focus is on 'conscious personal transformation', it is worth repeating: We cannot control what happens to us.

Our main goal is to own and control our 'pain > grief > anger > ambition' transitions and conclude them with victories that are constructive rather than destructive.

In other words, as Canadian psychologist Jordan Peterson often states based on Carl Jung's work:

Life is not about avoiding to become a monster, it's about keeping the monster inside under control.

We will dedicate ourselves to learn, restrain and improve – not in isolation from our environment, but by becoming one with it. Yet we will never be afraid of taking risks or stumble, and our pain will not poison, but heal us.